put you back together
by mantisbelle
Summary: The few nights before keep playing in Jaune's mind like a nightmare, over and over again and reminding him of people he couldn't save. At least he'd been able to save Weiss. Spoilers for Volume 5 Episode 12


Ever since Jaune had been a little boy, running at his sister's heels, he had loved long hair.

Jaune had loved his sisters' hair, he loved how beautiful it was and he remembered the first time that he'd been allowed to play with it, and then when he'd been taught to braid it along with the rest of them. He'd loved being allowed to brush the knots from his elder sister's hair. He'd loved them. Even though Jaune never let his own hair grow too long, that love for long hair had always remained.

Growing up, it was always the same thing. He'd see girls with long, flowing hair, and he'd almost immediately find himself falling head over heels. He didn't know what it was about it, but he'd always loved the look of hair pulled back cleanly and then allowed to just flow and fall and _move_. He loved how it would accent strong or delicate shoulders, and create something that was _always_ attractive.

Once, when Jaune was 12, he'd gotten the chance to see Weiss Schnee sing. It hadn't been in person, just something that he'd seen on his parent's television one night. She'd been beautiful then too, and the way that her hair had shined bright white under moonlight had been enough to make his heart sing just as loudly as she had.

The image had been engraved into the back of his mind. Back then, the ideas to go to Beacon had only been inklings- nothing fully realized.

The boy that had watched Weiss sing never would have even dreamed that he would one day meet her. The idea that he would meet her at Beacon was also far from his reach, back in those days.

The truth was that Beacon had been full of beautiful women, but each and every single one of them had been securely out of his league. Pyrrha had been, and so had Weiss. Weiss had been much more vocal about it, but...

The dance had happened, and for the first time that Jaune had realized that Pyrrha was...

She was beautiful too. And smart. And strong. And she cared about him and she wanted him.

And he'd wasted his time on Weiss. He'd wasted his time on Weiss Schnee, who was interested in Neptune Vasilias, who had turned _her_ down, and not him, no, never him. He'd wasted his time on the girl who had slammed his door in his face when he'd asked her to the dance.

All while Pyrrha had been right there and-

He loved her. It had taken Jaune some time to figure it out, but he loved her.

Loving her wouldn't be enough. It wouldn't be enough to save Pyrrha's life and for months that's all that Jaune has been able to think about. He could have done more for her, or he could have tried and done more to stop her. He could have paid more attention to her as her world was falling apart around her, or he could have been there for her at a time when she had wanted his attention.

He _could_ have-

It was a part of his life, every waking moment. Guilt, sadness, anger. Cinder Fall had killed the girl that he'd loved, the girl that had been his first kiss, the girl that had been so devoted to the idea that he could have been better than the liar or the weakling that he was.

It never ended. He'd agreed to go off on adventures with Ruby, Nora, and Ren on the off chance that he would _one day_ get a chance to get back at Cinder Fall for what she'd done.

Those months travelling with them had been horrible. They had been constant sadness and mourning, walking from forest to forest and village to village. Sometimes they would get to fight grimm and save people, but other times they would find dying men that hadn't been able to do enough to save the residents of their homes.

Nothing was quite enough to distract Jaune from everything and everything that was wrong.

Mostly, he was sick of death, and it felt like all the good and the beauty had ebbed out of the world along with Pyrrha. Qrow told them more about what had happened that night in Vale, and Jaune was left with more things to dwell on. More things to regret.

He hated all of it.

Finally reaching Mistral after all of that was a relief, and it felt like a light in the darkness that he had been constantly dwelling in for months.

But then suddenly things changed, and Weiss was just... there.

She was there, and she was stronger and smarter than she had before and Jaune-

He didn't know what to feel, because seeing her again dragged up all of those feelings again. That guilt was there again, in full force when they all spent a night gathered around dinner and taunting each other. It had started with the nicknames and then all of the ways that they'd been embarrassments.

When Jaune had said _'don't even get me started,_ ' about that, he'd meant it. He didn't want to think about those things, because so much of that was tied to Pyrrha, and to Weiss, and it was a conversation that he didn't want to have.

Regardless, having Weiss and Yang with the rest of the group had been nice. Even if things were complicated and strange, it had been nice. They were all there doing their best to cope and prepare for battle, but it wasn't enough.

And then the battle just.. started out of nowhere.

Then it happened, and it was all that Jaune had been able to think about for days after.

His semblance had come over him like a freight train, and it had been enough to save Weiss, but that wasn't quite enough.

Weiss was alive, but she never should have been the one to take the blow she had been given. Jaune had done what he could, gone to her and looked after her, and Weiss was alive _but-_

But.

But Jaune was still blaming himself for what had happened, and he would for some time after. Cinder had used Weiss as a way to taunt him, and Jaune found himself rethinking the conversations that he'd had with his friends. Mostly, the ones that he'd had with Ruby.

Ruby had said that Pyrrha had been shot with an arrow, and that she remembered that it had punched through her entirely. Jaune hadn't wanted to know that particular detail, but they'd both needed a chance to vent so he had been willing to listen. Ruby had said that Pyrrha had been on her knees, and then she and the arrow had just... turned to dust and drifted away.

All in all, it had too many similarities to Ruby's story for Jaune's comfort. And he didn't know what to feel. Whether he had saved Weiss' life on that battlefield almost didn't seem to matter.

But he couldn't leave it as an unresolved thing. He had to at least know that Weiss was as okay as she could be all things considered.

For that reason he knocked on the door to the room where Weiss had been staying and spending her time. She was more or less on bedrest, and was healing well enough. Jaune needed to be able to just... see her. And talk to her about what had happened and apologize, even if it wasn't in his place to do so. He needed to do something for her.

"Weiss?" Jaune asked through the door, feeling worried and panicked in ways he didn't want to dwell on. "You... up?"

"I am." Weiss said, her voice quiet and possibly a little bit sleepy. "You can come in."

Jaune nodded and took a deep breath to try and calm down before turning the doorknob and making his way inside.

Weiss was in the bed, and she was wearing pajamas that Jaune knew belonged to Nora for a fact. She still looked a little paler and frailer than she normally did, but there was no sign of bandages. Mostly she looked like she was trying to enjoy the quiet when she could.

There was a book in her lap, and her hands resting on top of it, thin finger wedged between closed pages so she couldn't lose her place.

"Hey." Jaune greeted her, his hand still hovering on the doorknob so that he could pull the door closed should she want privacy.

Weiss looked up at him and smiled, though it was weak. She raised a hand and gestured to a wooden chair beside her seat. "Do you want to sit?"

"Yeah." Jaune sighed, closing the door behind him and making his way in. "That... sounds great." He took the seat and tried to relax, but found it was impossible.

Weiss was looking at him, and for the first time he realized that her hair was down.

He'd only seen it down once, and Jaune was glad for the separation.

"What's wrong?" Weiss asked, her voice softer and quieter than it had ever been before.

"I'm sorry." Jaune blurted out, hanging his head and letting his arms rest on his legs, hands dangling in the space between them. "for what happened to you."

Jaune watches her face for any sign that she'll have something to say to him, but nothing really comes. Instead, he watches as Weiss' expression sinks and she just looks down at her hands where they're resting in her lap. "Thank you," She says quietly, but it sounds fake or otherwise put on. Jaune doesn't know what to make of it. "For everything."

He swallows, and finds himself wishing that he had something there with him to make it easier. Maybe if he'd tried to gather flowers from outside of the Academy, or something, that would have been better. Never mind that it looks like Nora had already done that, if the small vase sitting on Weiss' bedside table was any indicator.

"You uh…" he shrugs. "You seem to be doing well."

"I don't know about that." Weiss answers, sounding bitter and exhausted all at once. "I've been… having nightmares."

"I'm sorry." Jaune replies, blinking and still not quite sure of what to do. In a way, he almost feels like he had when he'd first met Weiss properly, back when he'd been stumbling over himself every time she was in the room and he'd always felt like he had a finger in an electrical outlet. "I've been having them too."

"About the attack on Haven?" Weiss asks, finally looking to meet his eyes. "Or about something else?"

Jaune shrugs, because that isn't a question that is nearly as easy to answer as it sounds. He can't act like he hasn't been replaying what had happened nights before in his head, over and over again. He can't just act like Pyrrha hasn't been on his mind either.

"It's… a lot of things." he says quietly. "What happened, Pyrrha, just… everything that happened at Beacon, really." Jaune looks over at her, and decides not to go into the details of the time in between. Weiss knew about some of the easier stuff, and that was probably for the better. "And I think that this has dragged up a lot of bad things for me."

Weiss nods. "You… know that I don't blame you for it, right?" She asked, very obviously keeping her voice down. She leans forward slightly, trying to get a peek at the door to make sure they won't have company. There's an immediate part of Jaune that tells him that he needs to stop Weiss before she can exasperate something. He'd healed her on the battlefield but that was still failing to register in some ways.

She stares at the door with narrowed eyes and she looks somewhere between annoyed and worried. Jaune swallows.

"Weiss-" Jaune says, glancing back over his shoulder at the closed door as well. "Is… everything okay?"

"Everything is fine." Weiss says, shaking her head and sitting back up properly again. "I just… worry a lot."

"Are you still… in pain?" Jaune asks, all but stumbling over his words because he can't be sure anymore. Whatever he had done was still not completely clear to him. In the end it felt more like he'd merely applied a bandage for a wound that would re-injure all too easily.

"I have been." Weiss sounds so small, and so fragile in that moment that Jaune could swear he _heard_ his heart crack in his chest. He offers her a hand, and she takes it without so much as looking over at him. Carefully, he edges his way in beside her and slides an arm behind her back to offer the support just in case she feels like she needs it.

"Is this okay?" He asks, keeping his voice down still.

She nods and leans back into his arm and carefully, Jaune helps lie her back against her pillows and tries not to think about the true severity of the situation. She sits there in bed for a long moment after Jaune has already pulled away from her. It's almost like he'd been expecting, really. Neither of them seemed to have even the slightest idea as to what they were doing there.

When one of them finally decided to break the silence, it was Weiss.

"Have you talked to any of the others about it?" Weiss asked, looking back out the window again like she needed separation. Even now, it still hurts Jaune and leaves him feeling a little bit put out, but he doesn't want to make a big deal out of it.

If anything, he's going to just bottle those feelings up and deal with them later. Whenever later was. Hopefully there would be a good chance for later, when they weren't saving the world or getting involved in grand conspiracies.

"Not really." Jaune admits, glancing back to the door himself. "I uh… haven't been feeling like being around people since…" His voice trails off and he looks out the window too. Mistral has beautiful mountains, unlike anything that exists in Vale.

"Pyrrha." Weiss finishes for him. It makes the conversation feel so much dangerous, with it having been said out loud and put out in the open for them both. "I miss her too."

"I figured." Jaune sighed, letting his head hang a little bit. He can feel himself getting ready to cry and he wants to, but he doesn't know if this is the time. He came here to be there for Weiss, not the other way around, but his feelings are still so mixed up and confusing that he never knows what he wants to make of them. "Everyone misses her. Everyone loved her."

Weiss nodded and looked out the window. She's quiet, for a long time and then she speaks up. "I'm sorry." She says, keeping her voice down. "I don't know... what you and her were to each other. And I'm not going to ask if you aren't comfortable talking about it. But I'm sorry."

"Weiss, you don't have to-"

"But I _do_." Weiss cuts him off, and for the first time since he came into the room she really looks at him, the old ice queen stare that felt like it was boring a hole through him. "She was your partner, Jaune. I'm sorry. I've tried to deal with everything that happened too but," She closes her eyes and lets her head drop. "That doesn't matter. She was your partner and I'm sorry."

There is something that both of them are afraid to say. Jaune thinks back to that night in Beacon, when he'd called... Weiss. Ozpin had told him to call Glynda instead, but he'd decided to call Weiss instead because Jaune had known that he could trust her. She'd been the last one that he'd spoken to before he'd shattered his scroll entirely because all he knew was that Pyrrha was going off to die.

It feels like Weiss is apologizing for not being able to get there and help in time. Or not being able to get help there in time.

He picks his head up and nods. Jaune wants to get into the bed with her, but only so that he can hug her and try to offer comfort while being comforted. They're both hurting, and this... this isn't about where a spear had gone. This was something much worse, and Jaune had no idea how Weiss had spent her time dealing with it all.

"I don't blame you either." He finally says after a long moment, blinking away tears. "I knew Pyrrha. I think that when she decided to do what she did, she knew the consequences. Pyrrha believed it was her destiny to be a huntress, and she was lured into something, and... she didn't give up. I don't think that anyone could have saved her, really."

"I… think you might be right." Weiss mumbles, glancing at him only out of the corner of her eye. "I'm still sorry."

"I know." Jaune says back to her, even though the words don't mean all that much, or anything really. She looks at him and she gestures back to the seat with the graceful wave of her hand. Jaune follows it and takes his seat there once more, doing his best to become as comfortable there at Weiss' side as he had been before.

"I thought about you a lot." Weiss says, cutting through the quiet on her own. Jaune almost jolts at it because a stupid younger part of him has specific things that he wants for that to mean. "While I was in Atlas."

Jaune almost doesn't know what to say, because in that time that he'd been travelling with Ruby, Nora, and Ren there hadn't been that much time to really dwell on where their other friends were. They tried to talk about it sometimes, but they mostly found that the topic was difficult to talk about. It always ended up going in the directions of who wasn't going to be able to come back.

"I had no idea." Jaune says to her, and she seems softer for the first time. "Good things, I hope?"

"I had no idea that I would ever be able to see anyone again." Weiss said quietly, shrinking back a little bit herself. "Everything just feels kind of... surreal."

"Yeah." Jaune says quietly. "The whole great destiny magical thing doesn't help, does it?"

"No," Weiss actually cracks a smile, like she wants to laugh but doesn't quite want to let it out. "It really doesn't."

"I'm really glad to have you here." Jaune says to her, and for some reason he lets himself reach out for Weiss, turning his palm up in an open invitation that he isn't quite sure that he wants her to take. Both of them understand what he is trying to say, and Weiss wordlessly just slips her hand into his and lets it rest there.

The touch alone is a greater comfort than talking would ever be for the two of them.

"I'm glad to be here too." Weiss answers him. She's looking down at the space where their hands are joined. A part of Jaune is already preparing for some sort of rejection or rebuke from Weiss. If they were still back in Beacon it would have already come for him. She would have snapped or otherwise pushed him away.

But instead, she just lets them be there together, and that is something which Jaune can treasure. Even if he doesn't quite know what he feels or what he wants, he can enjoy it for what it is. The comfort is the greatest comfort he has known in some time.

It almost feels like a dream, like he needs to wrap his fingers around Weiss' wrist and feel for a pulse. Jaune can't be completely certain that he isn't knocked out in the middle of battle. Can't be completely certain that this Weiss is the real thing, taken from a battlefield and put back together when her injuries were too severe for simple field treatment. He can't be certain whether or not he had been the one to help her because it all feels so wrong.

But Weiss is there, and she is tangible and real.

Jaune shakes his head like he is trying to rid himself of the though, and Weiss notices it. She cocks her head to the side just slightly, and her white hair moves with it. Always beautiful, even when injured.

The guilt bites at him again, and Jaune does all that he can do push it back before it can get out of hand.

"Is there anything that you need?" Jaune meets Weiss' eyes, because this is going to be his only chance for a change in topic if his hunch is correct. "Because I can go and get-"

"I think that right now I just want the company." Weiss cuts him off, pulling her hand away from him and holding it up as though she were refusing a dish at a dinner table. Jaune can take the hint, so he just sits back in his seat. "And to feel like I'm not just... hurt. Or like what happened isn't all that everyone sees right now."

"Well," Jaune says with a slight shrug as he meets Weiss' eyes once more with a soft smile. "I think that you're pretty incredible, no matter what happened."

For just a second, he swears that he saw a blush begin to rise on Weiss' cheeks. Jaune knows that it's something that neither of them are going to allow themselves to talk about, but he wants to make sure that Weiss knows about it either way. She shakes her head, still smiling as she lets her eyes slip shut.

"You don't have to say that."

"Well, I mean it." Jaune replies with a shrug. He wishes that the two of them were touching, but he's able to imagine it just the same. Maybe there's just something about the idea of that sort of contact that feels comforting. Jaune can't say exactly what the case is for sure. "You're amazing. Always have been."

"You're not so bad yourself," Weiss says, though her voice is down and she is keeping her eyes averted away from him in a way that reads as almost embarrassed. Flattered, maybe. "You've definitely grown since Beacon."

"Sure, but we all have." Jaune smiles back at her and hunches over just slightly so that he can get a better look at Weiss' face. She's blushing, and that just leaves him feeling warm. "But you're-"

"I've done what I could to get better." Weiss cuts him off, raising a hand and snapping her gaze over in his direction. "That's all that there is to it."

"You know that you can say that, but you held off Vernal by yourself." Jaune responds, and he wonders whether or not this is something that he should even bring up. It's too easy for him to just wade into the messiness that was his own performance against Cinder. "That's incredible."

"I didn't hold her off!" Weiss laughs, though her voice is still quiet. "She was much better than I ever have been."

"But still." Jaune says. "You did amazingly. And you should be proud of yourself." He hears a knock on the door, and Jaune feels himself jump before he even realizes that he's done that. "I guess that someone else wants to see you though."

Weiss looks at the door and her face screws up in that way that it does when she gets annoyed. Jaune is already preparing himself to get up, but Weiss reaches out for him and grabs his hand, pulling him back so that he can't leave.

She raises her voice. "I'm busy!" She calls to the door.

Ren's voice comes from the other side. "I wanted to know if you would like some tea?" He sounds like he has been busy with something, and Jaune can only guess that he's been in the kitchen.

Weiss blinks and meets Jaune's eyes. She's quiet for a moment and nods before looking back to the door and raising her voice as much as she can to give a response. "Two cups of coffee would be lovely."

"I'll be sure to do that." Ren responds through the door, and then he's gone.

Jaune on the other hand is just confused as to what he was supposed to do. It sounds like he's been given a chance to stay, and Weiss still has him by the hand. He looks at the door, expecting it to open at any moment.

There's a slight tug at his hand, and then he sinks back down into the chair beside Weiss' bed.

She smiles at him again, more genuine than ever before. Weiss pulls her hand back away from him, almost like she is afraid of what holding that contact could mean. Jaune knows that it's leaving his stomach in knots.

"So..." Jaune says, looking back to her finally. "Two coffees?"

Weiss nods. "I like the company."

"Oh." Jaune blinks, feeling himself blushing this time. "Coffee sounds nice."

"Doesn't it?" Weiss goes quiet again and finally she says something else, something that Jaune is positive is going to be sticking in the back of his mind until the day that he dies. "I just didn't want you to go without me telling you that I'm proud of you too."

"You… are?"

"You've come a long way, Jaune Arc. Of course I'm proud of you."

"You know, it feels kind of weird hearing that from you." Jaune laughs. "Seeing as you would have laughed me out of the room a year ago."

"I mean every word." Weiss says, her eyes slipping shut like she's almost relaxed. "And I… think that I want to see where we both go from here. Seeing as we're both growing."

The invitation is there, Jaune is sure of it.

"I think that I'd like that too."

Within minutes the two of them have coffee, and they spend the rest of their night just… talking. It's probably one of the better nights of Jaune's life. Like it had come out of a dream.

For just a little while, he feels normal again. Few things had ever felt so sweet.


End file.
